Black Beast In This Hoe!

Don’t kick a beast’s belly young man or you’ll get the horns. Fight Night 105 was Derrick Lewis’s coming out party and the Black Beast has finally arrived…up in this hoe. I’ve always wondered what guys do when they have to take a shit right before a fight. They never know how long the fights before them will run and once you get your hands wrapped there’s no turning back. Granted UFC gloves are small and fingerless but I still don’t think you want to attempt some last minute wiping with them on. Plus there’s times when a shit just sneaks up on you. Just ask Yoel Romero.

But last night the Black Beast made the walk with a shit on deck, took some vicious body kicks, and managed to win the fight while not shitting his pants. And not just win, but with Mario Yamasaki’s tacit permission he won by banishing Travis Brown’s brain to the upside down dimension.

Mario Yamasaki really is an enigma he opens every fight by spreading love with his grade school girl heart hand signal and ends every fight about three personality altering punches too late. The guy absolutely hates brain cells. Yamasaki refs a fight like a disinterested bystander who doesn’t want to get involved. Absolutely no urgency in that stoppage. I wouldn’t trust Yamasaki to cook me eggs let alone save me from brain damage in a cage fight. Because in both cases you’re eggs and brains are coming out overcooked and scrambled

But back to my new favorite heavyweight, Derrick Lewis. Not only is he world class at swangin and bangin but his post fight interviews have become must watch. Diaz esque is Derrick Lewis in his often mumbled and always unpredictable post fight speeches.

Just in summation – Black Beasts Post Fight Interview Takeaways:

  1. Hates Snow
  2. Hates Spousal Abuse
  3. Digs Rousey
  4. Has Lots of Sex
  5. Needs to Shit

McGregor can cut a promo but no one gives less fucks on the mic than Derrick Lewis. And honestly if Rousey ever wants to fight again she needs to recapture that fire and the best way to do that is to start dating the Black Beast.

One thought on “Black Beast In This Hoe!

  1. Yet2bceen

    He keeps it straight G’ … it don’t get no realer… up n dis ho” 😰 if you from the streets you fucking with this and you completely understand it

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